CaveTrump
Neal:
The year is 2055. Scientists have
recently unearthed something extraordinary in the bogs of
Scene
1:
(Erik
is standing in the middle of the stage frozen, with club in hand.)
(Kristin
and Anupreet are standing near the caveman, Erik)
Kristin:(in
German accent) Dr. Schwarzbauer,
we stand at an important crossroads in scientific history. Just think of the implications of what we are
about to do. Are you ready?
Anupreet: (in German accent) Ja! Power up the Electrospectrometer!
Kristin:
It’s powered up, it’s ready to go!
Anupreet: Eins. Zwei. Drei. Los!
(Kristin
Pretends to throw a giant switch)
(Erik
slowly begins to thaw out, slowly moves arms)
Anupreet: It’s
Alive!
Kristin:
This is Science!
(Silence)
Anupreet: Quiet, you fool. It’s about to speak!
Erik:
(unleashes an unearthly roar for 5 seconds)
Erik:
DIE!
(Heavy
Metal music starts to play; Erik chases Kristen and Anupreet
around stage for a few seconds)
Anupreet: Nein!
(Erik
proceeds to club both scientists to death) END OF SCENE
Scene
2:
(Erik
and Alyson sit facing one another in chairs)
Alyson:
So, in conclusion I believe I would be a great addition to your business.
Erik:
You very impressive. I call you
soon. You have question for me?
Alyson: Well, I just have to know. Is that your real hair or is that a toupee?
Erik:(sits
in silent rage his face contorted)
(Erik
screams and clubs Alyson to death)
(After
killing Alyson, Erik stands silently, as if thinking, then slowly turns to
audience)
Erik:
You’re Fired!
(Erik
freezes, and Alyson stands up, and walks to front of stage)
Alyson:
And so ends my life, at the hands of science.
There is, however a moral to this tale of sorrow, a tale of
science-fiction turning to non-fiction, and of caveman turning into powerful
real estate moguls. That moral is:
(Alyson
is cut-off by Neal)
Neal:
And to find out what the moral is tune into NBC at 9/8 central for the smash
hit TV show the Apprentice, followed by ER.